


Bar Room Blitz

by dementorsatemysoup



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Bar Room Brawl Aftermath, Drinking, F/F, First Dates, First Kiss, Fluff, Kinda, Shark Beau, Wingman Caleb, he tries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-05 23:31:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14629320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dementorsatemysoup/pseuds/dementorsatemysoup
Summary: Drinks between Beau and Yasha end in blood and tears... just not their own.





	Bar Room Blitz

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know. Thanks for reading :)

Beau picks the flowers on a whim. Grabbing their stems, yanking them out of somebody’s garden, ignoring the woman screaming at her from behind the laundry she’d been hanging up. They’re blue and purple, they match Yasha’s eyes, and she likes this shit.

“They’re gonna die anyway,” Beau yells over her shoulder, rolling her eyes when the woman flips her off. “Real mature, lady!” She sticks her own middle finger up. “I can do it, too!”

The woman’s shouts start to fade when Beau turns the corner and by the time she gets back to the inn she’s no longer a concern. She shoves the door open, stalking across the room towards the table Caleb and Yasha are occupying. She flicks Caleb’s ear, snickering when he glares at her, and drops into the seat next to Yasha.

“Here,” she says, practically shoving the flowers at her.

Surprised, Yasha takes the flowers gently in her big hands. “Uh, thank you?”

“It’s not a big deal,” Beau lies, shrugging nonchalantly. “I saw them, knew you like this shit, so yeah.” She looks down at her nails, sneaking furtive looks at Yasha, smirking when she sees a shy smile on her face.

Caleb coughs softly, getting to his feet, and says, “I think I will go find Nott.” He shoots Beau some constipated look and walks out of the inn, book tucked protectively under his arm. Before the door closes, Beau watches him park his ass on the steps, and she barely holds back a snort.

“He didn’t make it far,” she comments, nodding towards the closed door.

Yasha nods absentmindedly, already placing the flowers in her notebook, along with the flowers Nott gave her and some feathers Jester picked up the other day.

Beau watches her for a moment before saying, “There’s a tavern not far from here.”

“Yes, I saw it,” Yasha responds, closing her notebook and tucking it away in her bag.

“The place looks like you could get a blowjob in the back alleyway, but it’s got booze.” She shrugs, leaning back in her chair, rocking back and forth. “Wanna check it out?”

Yasha looks up, meeting Beau’s eyes, and says, “Uh, yeah, I guess we could do that.”

Beau feels her stomach sink a little and quickly says, “Look, you don’t have to...”

“No, I want to,” Yasha replies pointedly and Beau nods.

“Okay, yeah okay.” The legs of her chair slam back into the floor and she stands up. “We’ll go tonight, you and me.”

“Okay.”

She moves towards the inn’s front entrance, shoving it open, startling Caleb. “Nott’s shopping with Jester.”

“I know,” he answers softly, annoyance flashing in his eyes. It’s not Beau’s fault he didn’t even try to find Nott.

“Kinda hard to find her when you’re sitting out here.”

He gives her a tired sigh but stands up, nodding. “I think I’ll go join them.”

“Are you going to make it that far?”

She hears him mutter something in Zemnian, too quiet for her to even attempt to make out, and watches him walk away. She thinks about calling out to him, but decides it’s not worth it and shuts the door.

* * *

 The tavern’s sign hangs haphazardly from above the door, swinging lazily from the chain. Beau turns her head, squinting at the words, and says, “The Last Stop? That’s not ominous in the slightest.”

Yasha touches the hilt of her sword. “I’d like to see them try anything.”

Beau smirks, looking up at her, and says, “You’ve never been hotter to me.”

Red creeping across her neck, Yasha heads towards the door and Beau follows on her heels, grinning. She pulls the door open, allowing Beau to enter the tavern first, and follows her inside.

The interior of the tavern reflects the exterior, the place dim, dirty, and not very busy. There are a few half-orcs sitting in the corner, playing some card game, their table littered with copper coins and empty mugs. At the bar sits two gnomes having a heated discussion in Gnomish, the smaller of the two clutching tightly to a bottle of something that’s purple and smoking. Near the door, sitting alone and hooded, is a dwarf who turns his head at Beau and Yasha’s entrance but slowly looks back down at his ale in disinterest.

“Lively place,” Beau comments and heads towards the bar.

A stooped, wizened half-elf greets her with a grunt and a nod. Beau leans against the counter and asks, “Do you have anything that doesn’t taste like piss?”

The half-elf stares at her for a long moment before turning around and filling up two mugs with some greenish stuff from a round bottle. He turns back around, setting both on the counter. “Six copper.”

“I’ve got this,” Yasha says before Beau can reach for any coins, handing the copper over to the bar keep.

Beau gives the drinks a distasteful look, but still picks hers up and takes a experimental drink. Surprisingly, it isn’t too bad and she pulls out a couple more coppers. “Keep this stuff coming.”

The half-elf nods, his grunt a little more friendly this time, and he scoops the coin off the counter. Beau turns back to Yasha, giving her a thumbs up, and says, “Think I made a friend.”

Amused, Yasha shakes her head. “Let’s find a table.”

They end up near the half-orcs, the small group goodnaturedly arguing over the game in Orcish. Beau wonders if Fjord knows any of these guys but stops herself mid-thought because that’s unlikely just because he’s a half-orc. She turns her attention to Yasha, who has already drained her mug of green crap, gesturing to the barkeep to bring her another.

“Hold up, let me catch up,” Beau says, gulping hers as quickly as she can, and slams the mug down next to Yasha’s. “You do not wanna challenge me to a drinking game, my friend. I’ll drink you under the table.”

A challenging smile creeps across Yasha’s face. “I’d like to see you try.”

“Bring it on, babe.”

When the half-elf brings over two more mugs of that green stuff, both Yasha and Beau dig into their bags for more gold, handing two each over to him, and they say, “Bring the bottle.”

* * *

 “That doesn’t count,” Beau exclaims, words slurring a little, a grin plastered across her face, practically kneeling on the table. “Most of it dribbled down your chin!”

“Fuck you, it counts,” Yasha retorts without any heat, wiping her chin. She reaches for the bottle, frowning when she finds it empty. “Fuck.”

“I know!” Beau looks over at the half-elf, waving her hand. “Do you have any more of this stuff?”

He looks over at them, eyes narrowed, but grunts and disappears into a small room near the back. He returns a moment later, carrying a dusty, round bottle and sets it on their table.

Without counting the coins, Yasha drops a handful on the tabletop and says, “Keep it.”

The half-elf leans over their table and gruffly mutters, “I’d be careful throwing your coin around in here.” He straightens up, taking Yasha’s money, and walks back towards the bar.

Beau sits back in her chair, suddenly aware of the half-orcs who have been shooting them furtive looks all night; of the dwarf who still hasn’t moved from his spot near the door. The only customers no longer in the tavern are the two gnomes, both having left in a huff an hour ago, but even they had been watching the two women closely all night.

“Wanna take that bottle and get out of here?” she asks curiously, nodding towards the dusty, green alcohol sitting on their table.

“If you’d like.”

The two stand up, Beau putting the bottle in her bag, and they start towards the door. Their steps slow when the dwarf gets to his feet, hand going towards the short sword at his belt.

Beau smirks at Yasha, quirking an eyebrow, and turns back to the dwarf. “You try swinging that at me and I will lay your ass out on this floor.” She feels Yasha stir behind her, her hand brushing against her lower back; a silent  _I’ve got your back_.

They hear chairs scrape across the floor, the half-orcs getting to their feet, and Beau’s smirk turns shark like. She rolls her shoulders, drawing in a steady breath, and says, “This is gonna be fun.”

* * *

The tavern is in shambles, broken chairs and tables everywhere, shattered glass, coins and cards scattered across the floor, but their bottle of booze survives. Yasha takes the dwarf’s short sword and breaks it over her knee, tossing it into a corner, while Beau holds the guy against the wall with her staff.

“You wanna end up like your friends?” she asks, nodding back at the unconscious half-orcs, sniffing a wad of blood up into her nose and feeling it slide down her throat. “Because I have no problem choking your ass out.”

The dwarf shakes his head, eyes darting towards Yasha lurking over Beau’s shoulder, and Beau gives him a smug smile. “Good. Get your ass out of here.” She releases him, kicking him in the ass as he scrambles out of the tavern, and turns back to grin at Yasha.

“Hooooly shit.”

Yasha nods, wiping blood out of her eyes, looking back at the mess they’ve made. She tries to find the barkeep, but he disappeared upstairs when the fighting started. “Should we leave him some money?”

“Nah, let’s go.” Beau turns towards the door but stops, hanging her head, sighing softly. She looks back at the mess. “I guess we can try to clean up a little.”

“Just go!” the half-elf calls down from his hiding place.

“Just trying to help!” Beau calls back as Yasha grabs her hand and pulls her out of the tavern.

They’re around the corner when Beau realizes Yasha hasn’t let her go of her hand. She looks down at her dark hand wrapped tightly in Yasha’s pale one, and Yasha follows her gaze, her face flushing. She releases Beau’s hand, muttering an apology.

“It didn’t bother me,” Beau says shrugging.

“Are you sure?”

“Wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t.”

Accepting the answer, Yasha leans against the wall, crossing her arms tightly against her chest, nodding slowly. “Tonight, it was fun.”

“Hell yeah,” Beau says rubbing her nose with the back of her hand, smearing blood across her skin, wincing in pain. “I think my nose is broken.”

Yasha uncrosses her arms, leaning towards Beau, studying her nose. “It doesn’t look broken.”

“You sure?” Beau shifts her head even closer to Yasha’s. “Might wanna look closer. Just to be sure.”

Yasha moves another few inches, one hand coming up to gently touch her nose, murmuring, “It looks fine.”

“Uh-huh.” Beau closes the small gap between them, kissing Yasha softly, backing her into the wall. Yasha’s hands linger near her face for a second before she gently cradles her head between them.

Beau pulls back first, giving Yasha a suggestive grin. “Ever have sex in a dirty alleyway?”

Yasha shrugs, pupils blown, hands already reaching for Beau again. “Once, but I’m up for it again.”

“Excellent.”


End file.
